


Wildest Dreams

by RowArk



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Adoption, Car Accidents, F/F, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-05-28 08:37:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6322495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RowArk/pseuds/RowArk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a bad car accident, Regina is left with amnesia, causing her to forget her entire life with Emma. As time goes by and she begins to get used to the new status quo of her life, she begins to realize that perhaps everything is not as it seems, and starts to wonder exactly what secrets Emma is keeping from her. Angst, romance and Swan Queen</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Regina blinked the sleep out of her eyes as the morning sun came streaming in through her bedroom window. She sighed a little in relief, as the sun shining meant that the torrential storm of the night before had finally passed. She was about to throw back her duvet and get out of bed when she heard the distinct sound of breathing coming from behind her.

 _Strange_ , she thought. She hadn't remembered Robin spending the night last night. In fact, she didn't even remember him coming over at all, and, now that she was thinking about it, she didn't even remember getting home, herself. The last thing she remembered from the night before was driving in the wildest storm she had ever encountered in this realm.

Regina guessed that the stress of the drive and the fact that she had been a little too tired to be driving safely, anyway, had caused her to forget some of the details of the night before, and as she rolled over, she decided she could just ask Robin what the hell was going on when he woke up.

Only… that wasn't Robin.

"Emma," Regina gasped, under her breath, as she caught sight of the woman sleeping next to her, blonde hair sprawled out over the pillow. If she didn't remember Robin coming over last night, she _certainly_ didn't remember Emma coming over, and she wondered if perhaps the Sheriff had been forced to spend the night there because of the storm.

But why wasn't she in the guest bedroom?

Regina sat up, her heart pounding, and debated on whether she should wake Emma up and demand an explanation, or head down to Henry's room to see if he was up and had any clue what was going on, but her thoughts were cut short as her bedroom door flew open and a little girl with strawberry blonde curls and sparkly blue eyes came bounding into the room.

"Mommy!" the girl shrieked, jumping onto the bed and wrapping her little arms around Regina's neck.

Regina gasped again, and turned to look at Emma, whose sleepy green eyes finally fluttered open.

Emma smiled as she looked up at Regina. "Morning, babe," Emma said, as she sat up and placed a kiss on Regina's cheek. "Morning, Monkey," Emma said, turning her attention to the little girl, who jumped from Regina to Emma, and Emma wrapped her in a tight hug.

Regina was at a loss for words as she listened to Emma tell the little girl to go wake up her brother for breakfast, and the little girl agreed and scurried out of the room.

"You okay?" Emma asked, noticing the utter confusion on Regina's face. "Regina? What's wrong?"

"I… I…" Regina stammered, shaking her head. She didn't even know where to begin when _everything_ was currently wrong and she was suddenly wondering if she'd woken up in an alternate dimension or something.

"You don't remember, do you?" Emma asked, a look of concern washing over her face.

Regina just shook her head.

"The doctor said this might happen," Emma said, nodding. "Do you remember the accident?"

"No. What accident?"

"Three weeks ago, you were in a car accident," Emma sighed, visibly wincing at the memory of it. "Drunk driver hit you head on. The doctor said your head injury might result in amnesia. They thought you were in the clear, but we're gonna have to get you back in for another scan because this means the concussion was worse than they thought."

Regina felt sick to her stomach as she suddenly realized her head was _aching_. She reached up and felt gauze wrapped around her forehead and shuddered.

"He did a number on you, but Dr. Whale said, with your magic, it shouldn't even scar," Emma said, offering a hopeful smile. "He said the amnesia would be something called 'retrograde', so you basically lose a chunk of memory, but you'll still be able to form new memories, and hopefully get the old ones back. What's the last thing you remember?"

"Um… driving in that really bad storm. It was… October 15th, 2015," Regina said.

"That was five years ago," Emma said, almost in a whisper. "That was…. you were still with Robin then. So… you don't remember any of this… us?"

Regina felt like she might cry as she shook her head again.

"It's okay," Emma said, reaching for Regina's hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Everything will be fine."

"So, we're…." Regina starting, looking at Emma with pleading eyes, hoping the blonde would fill in the details without making her ask explicitly.

Emma smiled. "A couple? I know, crazy right? But yeah… you and Robin broke up not long after Zelena's baby was born, and me and Hook broke up shortly after that and… well, New Years happened and maybe we both got a little tipsy but it all worked out for the best," Emma said, with a grin.

"And… we have a daughter?"

"Hailey," Emma nodded, with a proud smile on her face. "We adopted her when she was one. That was three years ago, and she just turned four last month. And Henry just adores her. He's in college now, you know? In New York, but he's back for the summer, sleeping in his old room just like old times."

Regina let her eyes wander around the room. It was mostly the same, except with a few of Emma's items strewn around, and a few new framed pictures. Her eyes landed on a large print of the four of them, Henry with his arms around both of his mothers, and Hailey in Regina's arms, laughing.

"We look happy," Regina commented, nodding toward the picture.

"We are," Emma said, giving Regina's hand another squeeze. "And don't worry, we'll get through this, just like we get through everything. I promise."

"Mom!" Regina heard what she was sure was Henry's voice - though he sounded much more like a man than a teenage boy now - coming from the hall before a knock came on the door. "Mom, Mom… are you two decent?"

Emma laughed. "Yes, Henry."

Henry pushed the door open and Regina gasped at the sight of him: he'd grown at least another foot and he had filled out. He wasn't that lanky, awkward teenager anymore. In fact, he had a little bit of scruff growing on his face now, and it made Regina want to cry, all over again.

"What's wrong?" Henry asked, his eyes passing back and forth between his mothers.

"She has amnesia," Emma said, and Henry nodded. Regina guessed this was something that they'd discussed as a possibility. Perhaps she'd even been involved in the discussion, though she had no way of knowing and she didn't really feel like asking.

"Mommy!" Hailey's little voice rang out a split second warning before she ran passed Henry and back up on to the bed, looking right at Regina with those big, blue eyes. "I thought you were gonna make breakfast? You said you were gonna make pancakes!"

"I think I'll make breakfast today, kiddo," Emma said, before Regina had a chance to respond.

"But Mommy said! She hasn't made pancakes since she came home!"

"Yes, because she was hurt, remember? And remember what I said about asking her to do things before she's better?" Emma reminded her.

"No, it's okay," Regina said, forcing a smile. "I'll make them. If I said I would, then I will."

"Apple cinnamon?" Hailey asked, hopefully.

"Is there any other kind?" Regina asked, with a real smile this time. She hoped she was at least interacting with Hailey somewhat similar to what the girl was used to, as she was quite sure a four-year-old wasn't really going to understand what amnesia even meant.

"Come on, Hailey," Henry said, holding out his hand. "Let's go set the table and let them get dressed, okay?"

"You sure you're okay to cook?" Emma asked, giving Regina another concerned look once Henry and Hailey had left the room. "You haven't cooked anything since you got home. Hailey will understand."

"I'm fine," Regina insisted, as she got up and headed toward her closet. At least her clothes were the same as she remembered. She grabbed an outfit, and turned to find Emma still sitting on the bed, clearly with no intention of giving her any privacy. "Do you mind?"

"Seriously?" Emma asked, taken aback. "We've been sleeping together for five years. You change in front of me all the time."

"Maybe so, but I don't remember that, so…" Regina's voice trailed off as her cheeks began to flush. _Sleeping with Emma Swan… for five years. How is this even possible?_

"Okay," Emma nodded. "Just let me grab my stuff and I'll get dressed in the other room."

Regina watched as Emma pulled article of her clothing from Regina's dresser, and marvelled at how surreal this all felt. She felt a lump growing in her throat, and the moment Emma left the room and shut the door behind her, Regina let the tears fall.

She only indulged in the crying for a few moments before taking a deep breath to compose herself, and getting dressed quickly before heading into the bathroom. She gasped at the sight of herself in the mirror: not only was her forehead wrapped in gauze, but she had scrapes on her cheeks and what looked like a bit of road rash on her neck and collarbone. She shuddered, suddenly grateful that she couldn't actually remember the car accident, as from the looks of it, it looked like it had been a bad one.

She just wished she could remember even a fraction of her supposed life with Emma, because it all seemed too unreal to process. The Evil Queen and the Savior? How was this even possible.

But then, if Regina was being honest with herself, it wasn't like the idea had never occurred to her before. Of course she'd always thought about the _possibility_ of _maybe_ having something with Emma, but she'd never really been sure if the Sheriff felt the same. She guessed that now she knew.

And now she had a life with her, and a family, and, she wondered, perhaps the chance at a happy ending? They looked happy enough in pictures, and truly, five years was longer than any other happy relationship Regina had ever been in.

She just wished she could remember this one.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Regina took a deep breath and quickly fixed her hair as best she could with it partially covered in gauze. She shuddered to think what her forehead looked like under the bandage, and decided against looking to see, if her cheek and neck were any indication. She tried to swallow back the uncomfortable lump in her throat, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something was very wrong.

No, scratch that. _Everything_ was wrong.

Of course, it seemed like she had a good life here, with Emma, but she didn't understand how any of this was possible. Yesterday, she was in love with Robin, and though the baby was a roadblock, she was sure they would overcome it. It was shocking to think they let something like that come between them, but evidently they had, because today she woke up five years later in a relationship with Emma Swan, of all people.

Regina chewed on her lip nervously as she watched her own face in the mirror. Emma had said she might get her memories back, and she hoped to hell that was true, because she wasn't sure exactly how she was supposed to play house with a son she barely recognized and a daughter she'd just met and a woman she'd only been friends with… all while being in love with a man who she'd allegedly ended things with five years ago. She didn't even know if Robin was even still in Storybrooke, she suddenly realized, and she also realized a part of her hoped he wasn't, because she wasn't sure she could take it.

Regina shook her head, trying to push those thoughts away. There would be time to deal with all of that later, she was sure. Emma had mentioned getting another scan done, and Regina hoped that maybe it would provide some answers, as she still felt like she was lost in an alternate reality somewhere, and not in her own life. In any event, there was a little girl waiting downstairs for pancakes she'd promised her, and memories or not, Regina wasn't about to disappoint an innocent child.

She headed out into the hall and saw no sign of Emma in the rooms she passed. She guessed the blonde was already dressed and downstairs, as Regina had taken longer than even she'd expected to get ready this morning. She kept walking and stopped when she reached an open door to what was formerly a guest room but now was quite clearly a little girl's room.

She stepped inside and looked around, taking in the lavender walls and shelves of dolls and toys and books. Clearly their little Hailey was just a tad spoiled, just as Henry had been at four as well. Regina actually smiled at the thought.

Her eyes roamed the room until they landed on a framed adoption certificate, which was signed by Emma and herself. Henry hadn't known at four that he was adopted, but Emma had said Hailey was one when they got her, so clearly keeping it secret wasn't an option in this case.

On either side of the certificate, there was a framed photo. On the left was a picture of Hailey as a baby, with herself and Emma. She guessed maybe that was the day they had gotten her, or shortly after, since Hailey looked about one in the picture. On the other side was a picture of a redhaired woman and a blonde haired man, proudly showing off their newborn baby girl.

"Hailey's birth parents," Emma said, coming up behind Regina and causing her to jump a little in surprise. "Sorry."

"It's okay. I just didn't hear you come up," Regina said, not taking her eyes off the picture. "What happened to them?"

"Car accident," Emma said, as she stepped up beside Regina. "They both died on impact but Hailey was miraculously uninjured."

"Another car accident," Regina commented, as she absently touched the gauze on her forehead.

"Yeah… how's your head feeling?" Emma asked, looking at Regina with concern again.

"Better than it did this morning, actually," Regina replied, noting that the pain was almost gone now. It seemed strange, since she hadn't taken anything for it, so she made a mental note to add that to the list of things to ask the doctor about.

"I called Dr. Whale while you were getting ready. He said he can see you later this morning."

"Will you come with me?" Regina asked, instantly wanting to kick herself for how needy her voice sounded at the moment.

"Of course," Emma said, with a small smile that told Regina that would have gone without saying. "Henry's going to watch Hailey. And he's making breakfast. I know you said you're fine but you're not fine. Your apple cinnamon pancakes can wait."

"I don't want to upset her."

"You won't. It's okay," Emma assured her, as Regina felt the tears threatening to fall again. "Hey. It's gonna be okay."

"Do you hear that sound?" Regina asked suddenly.

"No. What sound?"

"It's like …. A ticking sound … or clicking. You can't hear it?" Regina asked, as she looked around for the source of the faint noise. "It started just after you came in here."

"I don't hear anything," Emma said with a shrug. "Come on. Let's go see how Henry's making out with breakfast."

Regina nodded and followed Emma out of the room, noting how much she suddenly felt like a guest in her own home as she followed Emma through the hall. She wrapped her arms around herself, wishing she could just wake up and find that this was all just a vivid dream.

"How's breakfast coming, kid?" Emma asked as they reached the kitchen.

"Mom! I'm eighteen… 'kid' doesn't really work anymore," Henry said, shaking his head as he poured the pancake mix into the frying pan. It wasn't apple cinnamon, but it would have to suffice for today.

"Well, I'm not about to call you 'man', so deal with it, _kid_ ," Emma teased as she picked up Hailey under her arms and swung her around before carrying her into the dining room and placing her on a chair equipped with a plastic booster.

"Sit beside me, Mommy," Hailey said, patting the place setting beside her and looking at Regina expectantly. Regina forced a smile and took the seat next to the little girl.

"Sorry I didn't make your pancakes," Regina said, quietly, as Emma headed back to the kitchen to help Henry.

"That's okay, Mommy. You were asleep for so long, I'm just glad you're back home," Hailey said, with a big smile.

"I was asleep?" Regina asked. Emma hadn't mentioned her being unconscious.

"Uh-huh. For five whole days. I didn't know if you would ever wake up!" Hailey said, emphatically.

Regina swallowed hard at the thought of that, as the faint ticking sound started again. It sounded like it was coming from inside her head and all around the room, at the same time.

"Hailey, do you hear that sound?" Regina asked, quietly so that Emma wouldn't hear. She didn't really want to cause Emma any more concern if she didn't have to.

"All I hear is pancakes sizzling," Hailey said, looking toward the kitchen where Henry was still hard at work.

"You don't here a little ticking sound? Like a clock?" Regina asked, to clarify.

"Uh uh. Look! Pancakes are done!"

Regina looked toward the kitchen where Henry was placing pancakes on plates, and just nodded. She wondered if perhaps she should ask Dr. Whale about the sound today, since apparently no one else could hear it.

During breakfast, Regina picked absently at her food while Hailey monopolized most of the conversation, though Regina was barely listening to what the girl was saying. It was hard to focus when this all still felt so surreal to her. It felt more like she was watching the interactions of a happy family, than she was actually part of one.

"It's a nice day, so I'm gonna take Hailey to the park while you two are gone," Henry informed his mothers, once breakfast was done.

"Good idea. Let her burn off some energy and maybe she'll actually nap today," Emma said, with a wink to her little girl. Hailey merely replied with a mischievous grin.

Regina watched the whirlwind of activity while Emma cleaned up from breakfast - after vehemently refusing Regina's help and telling her to take it easy - and Henry and Hailey got ready for their day together. Before she knew it, Emma was asking her if she was ready to go, and they were heading outside, where she saw a black Jeep Wrangler, that Emma informed her belonged to Henry, and Emma's Bug. Regina eyes roamed the rest of the driveway, quickly noting that one vehicle was absent.

"You survived the accident," Emma said, as she took Regina's hand and lead her towards the Bug. "Your Mercedes wasn't so lucky."

"Oh," Regina breathed out. The more she learned about this accident, the more she was grateful that she didn't remember it. "Who, um, who was the drunk driver?"

Emma seemed to visibly stiffen as she let go of Regina's hand to unlock the car. "It… it doesn't matter. Come on, we're going to be late."

"Since when have you ever cared about being late?" Regina asked, raising an eyebrow as she got into the car. "And it does matter. I want to know."

"Can we talk about this later?" Emma asked, as she started the car and quickly threw it into reverse, backing out of the driveway faster than Regina would have liked.

"Emma! Slow down," Regina gasped. She might not remember the accident, but she wasn't really in the mood for a repeat performance either.

"Right," Emma said, staring straight ahead as she pulled out onto the road and headed towards the hospital. Regina just watched her as she drove, wondering why she was so insistent _not_ to tell her who had been driving the other car. She decided not to push it, for now, and rather to focus on her appointment with Dr. Whale.

They waited in silence in the waiting room until Whale finally called Regina's name. Emma instantly grabbed her hand again as they stood. "Ready?" she asked, looking seriously at Regina.

"As I'll ever be," Regina said, with a nod. She found it odd that despite her lack of memory, holding Emma's hand didn't feel strange in any way. It felt _familiar_ , and she wondered if perhaps some part of her mind still did remember, on a subconscious level. Whatever it was, Regina felt grateful, at least, for the comfort it offered her, as they entered Whale's office.

"So, she's experiencing memory loss," Whale said - rather than asked - as he looked at Emma, rather than Regina.

"Yes, I am," Regina said, drawing his attention to her.

Whale nodded and tipped Regina's head back, looking into her eyes with his light. "Starting this morning?" he asked, looking back at Emma again, who simply nodded. Whale nodded again, and looked back at Regina. "Retrograde amnesia, caused by the concussion."

"Wait, you aren't going to give me at CAT scan or an MRI or something?" Regina asked, panic rising in her voice. "You can't just look in my eyes and diagnose a head injury!"

"We've already diagnosed the injury," Whale explained. "We already have your scans, and we knew this would be a possibility."

"Fine. Explain to me then why I woke up with a headache and now it's gone," Regina said, giving Whale a challenging look.

Whale shrugged. "That sounds like something you should be happy about."

"What?" Regina looked at Emma for help, and noted that the blonde seemed remarkably unfazed by Whale's nonchalant attitude.

"Okay, well there's something else. I keep hearing a ticking sound, like a clock, and no one else can hear it," Regina stated.

"Tinnitus," Whale shrugged again. "Common with head injuries. It should pass on its own in time. Just continue to rest as you have been."

"I don't _remember_ what I have been doing. That's why I'm here," Regina said, through gritted teeth.

"Regina, honey, calm down," Emma said, reaching out to touch Regina's arm, but Regina shook her off. "What else can we do?" Emma asked, turning her attention back to Whale.

"You can try looking at photo albums, keepsakes, momentos… anything that might trigger a memory, but there's no guarantee that her memory will ever come back. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more patients."

"Unbelievable," Regina scoffed, as they left Whale's office. "I want to get a second opinion."

"Regina-" Emma started, but was quickly cut off.

"No! That was crap. I want a second opinion. Whale's an idiot. Take me out of Storybrooke so I can see a real doctor," Regina said, looking pointedly at Emma.

Emma nodded. "Okay. I will. I'll find a doctor, okay? But come on, you're upset, let's go home."

"Of course I'm upset!" Regina snapped, defensively. "I can't remember anything and he's not giving me any answers. You said I would need another scan and all he did was look in my eyes!"

"Well, I'm not a doctor, Regina. I just assumed you'd need another scan," Emma said with a shrug.

The car ride home was silent, as Regina sat and stared out the window, trying hard not to let her tears fall out of pure frustration.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," Regina said, quietly, once they reached the house.

"It's okay. I know this isn't easy for you," Emma said, with a small, encouraging smile.

"Well, it can't be easy for you, either," Regina acknowledged.

"No, it's not. For a few days, Regina, honestly, we didn't even know if you were going to live. Those were the hardest days of my life. But you did, and I know losing your memory must be horrible for you, but you're alive and that's what matters. You survived the accident, so you can survive this, too."

"I wish I had your optimism," Regina sighed, as they entered the house. "I thought Henry was supposed to have the heart of the truest believer, not you."

"Maybe so, but I'm the Savior, remember?" Emma said, with a grin.

"Right."

"You want to maybe try looking at some photo albums before the kids come home?" Emma suggested.

Regina glanced around the room, at more pictures of her and Emma, and Henry and Hailey. All things she didn't remember. A life she didn't feel like she was part of, despite photo evidence right in front of her.

She shook her head. "I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, honestly, Emma. Can I just go lie down?"

Emma nodded. "Yeah, of course. Whatever you need. I'll be here, if you need me. I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you."

With a heavy heart, Regina headed back upstairs to her bedroom. It was familiar and unfamiliar all at the same time, and as she crawled into bed, she couldn't help but notice it smelled like Emma. Of course it did. She'd been sleeping there for years. Even if Regina couldn't remember, the proof was all around her, and yet she still couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. There was something Emma was leaving out - something more than the name of the person who'd hit her - though Regina couldn't guess what or why.

But, if nothing else, she'd always been able to trust Emma, and she tried to tell herself that if Emma _was_ keeping something from her, there must be a reason, and it must be for Regina's own good.

Or, at least she hoped it was.

Regina felt her eyelids growing heavy as she lie in bed, and decided perhaps a nap would help. She hoped that Henry would be back by the time she woke up, and she could talk to him, one on one. If there was one thing she could always count on, it was that her son would protect her in any way he could. If something was going on, surely Henry would tell her.

And with that thought, Regina drifted off, determined to get some answers when she awoke.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

" _What do we got?"_

" _Car wreck. Female, probably in her thirties, unconscious. Multiple contusions and lacerations to her head and face."_

_Regina fought to open her eyes but all she could make out was a blur around her. She could tell she was on her back, and moving, probably on a stretcher, she reasoned. She wasn't sure what was going on, but she was pretty sure the voices around her were talking about her._

" _Oh God, it's Regina…"_

_That was Whale, Regina realized. She was at the hospital. Car wreck. But she didn't remember anything._

" _Regina, can you hear me?"_

_Whale, again, but Regina couldn't seem to find her own voice. She tried to shake her head, no, but soon realized she couldn't move it. Something had her immobilized, but she had no idea what._

" _Get her into the OR," Whale said. "We gotta get this bleeding stopped, and get her in for and MRI and a CT scan…"_

_Whale's voice trailed off as everything around Regina started to go dark, and she realized she was losing consciousness, again._

Regina woke up in a cold sweat, her heart pounding and her breathing short, quick and shallow. She put her hand to her chest, and then to her head, only to find the gauze was still there. She'd gone to sleep and woken up and it still wasn't a dream. She sat up in bed and looked around. Emma's clothes still over the back of the chair, and the family portrait still on the wall.

But that dream, she was sure, wasn't a dream. That had to have been a memory of what happened right after the crash. It didn't really provide any answers, but a memory coming back had to be significant, she was sure. At least she hoped it was.

She sighed and got up, catching sight of herself in the mirror, and only then realizing that she was crying. She quickly wiped the tears with the back of her hands and headed to her closet to find a change of clothes, since she was now soaked with sweat.

Taking deep breaths to try to steady her nerves, Regina changed and smoothed out her hair again, trying to look somewhat presentable, despite everything, before heading back out into the hallway to go downstairs. There was still a knot in her stomach that she was sure wouldn't go away until she got some answers, but she hoped perhaps Henry was home by now.

Instead of Henry, however, she found Emma sitting on the couch in the living room, scrolling through her phone with her feet tucked up under her.

"Hey," Emma said, with a small smile as Regina entered the room. "You sleep okay?"

Regina shrugged. "Alright, I suppose. Is Henry home?"

"He was, but he went over to see my parents. He'll be home soon. And Hailey's napping. Why don't you come sit down? You still look exhausted," Emma suggested.

Regina nodded. She still _felt_ exhausted, and she took the seat next to Emma on the couch, unsure of how close she should sit. In a way she wanted Emma to hold her and let her cry and though she was sure she would do just that, Regina still felt awkward and out of place so she decided to leave a little space, for now.

"I, uh, I think I remembered something," Regina said.

"Yeah? What did you remember?" Emma asked, putting her phone down and looking at Regina excitedly.

"I had a dream that I was in the hospital, after my accident. But, it didn't feel so much like a dream, as a memory. Whale was there and he said to take me to the OR, and then get me an MRI and a CT scan," Regina recounted, her eyes searching Emma's for any indication that any of this sounded familiar to her, though she wasn't sure Emma hadn't actually been _there_ when it happened, since they hadn't even known who she was at first.

"That sounds about right," Emma nodded. "They called me after they got the bleeding stopped. I was there when you had your MRI, but you were really out of it."

"Hailey said I was asleep for five days," Regina said, wondering now if she'd ever really been unconscious.

"I told her you were sleeping. You were in and out of consciousness for five days. It was your head injury combined with high doses of pain meds. You were barely coherent and I didn't want to scare her so I only let her see you when you were asleep."

"Oh. Maybe, before Henry gets home, we could try looking at some photos? If I remembered that, maybe something else will come back?" Regina suggested.

Emma smiled and nodded, hopping up to grab an album from the bookshelf across the room. When she came back, she sat down close to Regina, opening the book on both of their laps.

"This is Henry's first day of highschool," Emma said, pointing to a picture of Henry looking about how Regina remembered him, though he looked thoroughly annoyed having his picture taken. "He looks pissed because we embarrassed him. Grace was coming to meet him to walk to school together. They dated on and off all through highschool."

Emma grinned and turned to see Regina's reaction. Not surprisingly, Regina's mouth dropped open in shock.

"Don't look at me like that. You were okay with it. Well, not at first, but you came around."

"Are they dating now?" Regina asked.

Emma nodded. "Yeah, but they go to different schools, so it's a long distance thing. Henry told me though that we inspire him, you know? He said if we can make it work despite every hurdle we've faced, then he believes true love really exists."

Regina drew in a deep breath at the mention of true love. She hadn't been sure true love was even a possibility for her, again, after Daniel. Robin was supposed to be destined to be her soul mate, and even that didn't work. True love with Emma Swan? She hadn't even considered the in the realm of possibilities…

And yet, here they were.

Regina watched as Emma showed her pictures of Henry and Grace at homecoming, and then a picture of herself and Emma with Henry, and then a picture of herself and Emma with Hailey, the same one that was framed in the little girl's room.

"That's the day we brought her home," Emma said, smiling at Regina again. "That was the day you told me that your life finally felt complete."

Regina sighed. "I wish I could remember that feeling," she said, before she realized she was saying it outloud.

"You will," Emma assured her, picking up her hand and squeezing it in her own.

"What if I don't?"

"Then we'll make new memories," Emma said, with a small shrug. "Your mind might not remember, but your heart will. You fell in love with me once, and I'm just as endearing now as I was back then."

At that, Regina had to smile. "You're taking this better than I am."

"I had a few weeks of advance warning," Emma explained. "You did too, but you don't remember. And, even though you don't remember, you made me promise to act normal around you if you did forget, because you thought living our normal life would be the quickest way to make you remember. And I think you were right, so that's what I'm doing."

Regina nodded, and let out another sigh. "I wish you would tell me who the other driver was."

"I know. But I can't," Emma said, turning back to the photo album. "Look, this is the first time we got a picture of Hailey's smile."

"Emma," Regina said, more firmly, drawing the blonde's attention away from the photos again. "Why can't you tell me?"

"Because… hey, I hear Henry's car," Emma said, closing the book and getting up to book it away. "We can do this later."

Regina sighed, but nodded. She wanted to talk to Henry anyway. "I, um, can I have some time alone with Henry?" she asked.

"Yeah, of course," Emma replied, giving Regina a confused look as she wondered why the other woman would think she needed to ask for permission. "I'll go check on Hailey and then get started on dinner."

"You cook?" Regina asked, raising an eyebrow.

Emma shrugged, and gave a small grin. "A girl's gotta eat, right? And apparently, so do children… or so they keep telling me, anyway. Hailey says I'm not as good as you, but I've managed to keep her alive for three weeks, so how bad can I be?"

"I'm sure you do just fine. But maybe I'll feel up to cooking tomorrow," Regina said, with a wink.

"Alright, you sit tight, I'll send Henry in here, okay?" Emma said, as she headed out to the front foyer to greet their son at the door. Moments later, Henry was plopping himself down on the couch next to Regina.

"Hey, Mom. Mom said you wanted to talk to me?" Henry asked, giving her a concerned look that mirrored the one she kept seeing from Emma all day.

"Well, I miss you," Regina said, nodding. "I know it doesn't seem like it to you, but I feel like I just missed five years of your life. Emma tells me you have a girlfriend."

"Mom, it's too late to lecture me now, you already did," Henry said, in mock defense. "And you _like_ Grace."

"I'm just teasing, Henry," Regina said, smiling. "But, I have a serious question I want to ask you while we're alone."

"Okay, yeah, sure. What is it?"

"If… if Emma were lying to me, you would tell me, right?" Regina asked, tentatively.

"Yeah, of course I would. Do you think she's lying to you?" Henry asked, the concern washing over his face again.

"No… not lying… but maybe not telling me everything? She won't tell me who the other driver was."

"She can't," Henry said, simply.

"That's what she said, but Henry, why not?"

Henry simply shrugged. "What did Dr. Whale say?"

"He wasn't helpful at all," Regina sighed. "I thought he might give me a CAT scan or something, but he just looked in my eyes."

"Have you ever had a CAT scan before?" Henry asked.

"No… well, yes, I guess, but not that I remember," Regina said, shaking her head in confusion. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I've gotta go wake up Hailey from her nap," Henry said, standing to leave the room.

"Henry… do you hear that?" Regina asked, as the ticking sound started to come back for the first time since her nap. This time, however, it was almost starting to sound like a rhythmic beeping.

"What?"

Regina sighed. "Nothing. It's probably nothing. Nevermind. Yes, go wake up your sister. Everything is fine."

Even as she said it, Regina couldn't help but think everything was anything _but_ fine. Nothing was adding up and she was pretty sure Emma wasn't acting anything _but_ normal right now.

Something was very, very wrong. And Regina was determined to figure out what the hell was going on.


	4. Chapter 4

Once Hailey came bounding down the stairs again, wide awake from her nap, Regina decided against broaching the subject of… well, anything…. with Emma and Henry while the little one was awake. She put on a smile as the little girl hopped up on to the couch with her.

"Did you sleep well?" Regina asked, suddenly wondering if she had any pet names for this girl. She made a mental note to ask Emma later.

"Uh huh. Did you? You were asleep when I got home!" Hailey said, grinning.

"I did," Regina lied.

"When your head stops hurting, are you gonna stop sleeping so much? I miss you," Hailey said, looking at Regina with solemn eyes.

"Hey," Emma said, popping her head into the room and interrupting the conversation before Regina could answer. "Dinner's ready."

Regina nodded, and stood, as Hailey jumped up and grabbed onto her hand to head into the dining room. Whatever was going on, Regina suddenly hoped that the idea that perhaps Emma was lying or holding something back was just all in her head, because as she entered her dining room to see Henry and Emma at the table, with this little girl holding onto her hand, she realized that this was as close to perfect as she could have ever imagined her life would be.

And with a sinking feeling, she realized that that was also probably the biggest reason she _should_ believe that something was amiss, because nothing was ever perfect for Regina Mills.

Yet, the family sat and ate dinner and made small talk just like any family would. Though Regina was mostly listening, as she didn't really have much to add, she couldn't help but think how perfectly normal all of this felt. Not a forced marriage to a King, and not a boyfriend who had a baby on the way with her sister… no, just a normal family comprised of people who loved her.

She was sure she could get used to this, even if she never actually remembered.

After dinner, once the dishes had been done and Hailey had been bathed - by Emma, though she had requested Regina - and they had watched _just one more_ episode of the little girl's favourite show, it was finally time to put her to bed.

"I want Mommy to read me a story!" Hailey insisted, when Emma had attempted to follow her into her room.

"Mommy doesn't feel good, remember Hailey? She'll read to you again when she feels better," Emma informed her.

"No Momma! I don't _want_ anymore Harry Potter!" Hailey said, pouting defiantly. "I want Mommy's story! Mommy, please!"

Regina looked at Emma and gave a little smile, and Emma nodded. "Fine, get in bed, Mommy will be there in a second," Emma sighed, as she stepped up to Regina and leaned in closed to her ear. "You've been reading her _Black Beauty_. It's on her nightstand and it's bookmarked where you left off. One chapter a night, and she'll probably ask you to sing to her. _Lavenders Blue_ , do you remember that one?"

Regina smiled and nodded. "Yes, I know the song," she said. She had always loved it, and had sang it to Henry nearly every night when he was little.

"Okay. She'll probably try to con you into more chapters, and several glasses of water, snacks, whatever. She's stubborn, just like… well, both of us, I guess," Emma said, with a small laugh. "So be firm. You're always the tougher one. And you always kiss her forehead and tell her 'goodnight, baby love' before you turn off her lamp."

Regina smiled and she looked at Emma and nodded. "I got it," she said, as she walked into Hailey's room and found the book on the nightstand, before sitting down on the bed next to her. Hailey seemed to cling to her every word as she made her way through the chapter, and, just as Emma had said, the second it was over, she was asking for another one.

"One chapter, you know that," Regina reminded her, as she put the book back down. "You may have the next one tomorrow night, unless you feel like Harry Potter."

Hailey groaned, and shook her head. "I had three weeks of Harry Potter! I still like when Momma reads, but I missed _you_."

Regina smiled down at her, taking in her big blue eyes that sparkled with such innocence, and her heart skipped a beat when the realisation really hit her that this little girl was her _daughter_. This little girl who looked at her with the same kind of love and admiration that Henry had at her age was _hers_ to love and raise, with Emma, happy and safe.

"Mommy, are you gonna sing to me?" Hailey asked, drawing Regina out of her thoughts.

"Of course I am," Regina nodded, as she snuggled in a little closer to Hailey, and began to sing.

"Lavenders Blue, dilly dilly  
Lavenders Green,  
When you are King, dilly dilly,  
I shall be Queen.  
Who told you so, dilly dilly,  
Who told you so?  
'Twas my own heart, dilly dilly,  
That told me so."

Regina continued to the end of the song, as she watched Hailey's eyelids start to fall.

"Sleepy, little one?" Regina asked, noting that the pet name slipped out without any conscious thought. Hailey just nodded, and Regina smiled, wondering if perhaps she had called her that before.

Regina stood up, and had to laugh to herself when the moment she did, Hailey began asking for a snack, just as Emma had said she would.

"You just had popcorn not even half an hour ago," Regina reminded her.

"My tummy wants more popcorn," Hailey said, looking at Regina seriously.

"Your brother used to do the same thing, you know," Regina replied, raising an eyebrow. "Your tummy is fine. Maybe you can have more popcorn tomorrow."

"Promise?"

Regina smiled and nodded, before leaning in to give Hailey a kiss on the forehead. "Goodnight, baby love."

"Goodnight Mommy. I'm glad you're back," Hailey said, yawning as she finally closed her eyes.

"Me too."

* * *

After spending a little more time with Henry, catching up about his life at school, and Grace, Regina finally headed back to her room, where she found Emma in her pajamas, grabbing some spare blankets from the closet.

"What are you doing?" Regina asked.

"Oh, um, I figured I should probably go sleep downstairs on the sofa bed, because, you know…" Emma said, biting her lip.

"Oh, well," Regina started, looking at her bed and suddenly realizing she didn't really want to be alone with her thoughts tonight. And maybe it wasn't really fair to kick Emma out when she hadn't done anything wrong. "Maybe… you should just sleep here."

Emma looked at her, surprised. "Are you sure? Regina, I know this isn't easy, and I'm not going to be offended or anything if you need some space. I've slept in worse places than on a sofa bed, I'll be fine."

"Right. But maybe I won't be," Regina said, quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"I just.. .maybe I shouldn't be alone. Maybe I don't _want_ to be alone," Regina explained.

"Okay," Emma said, with a smile, as she started putting the blankets back. "But if it feels weird or you change your mind, just kick me out. I promise my feelings won't be hurt."

"I'll keep that in mind," Regina said, with a smirk, as she headed to her dresser to find a pair of pajamas. Without being asked, Emma stepped out to give her some privacy to change.

"You can come back in," Regina called to her, once she was changed, and sliding into her side of the bed. Emma stepped back into the room and flicked off the light, before climbing, slightly ungracefully, into the other side in the dark.

"If you need anything in the night, just wake me up, kay?" Emma said, as she laid down on her pillow, conscious to give Regina some space so she didn't become overwhelmed.

"Okay," Regina agreed. "And, Emma… thanks, for being so patient with me. I know this can't be easy for you."

"Stop worrying about me, okay? It's way harder for you. I just wish I could make everything better for you."

"It will get better," Regina said, with a small smile.

"Yeah. It will. Goodnight, m… Regina."

* * *

_All Regina could see was headlights. It was dark and they were nearly blinding her, as they seemed to be coming right for her._

_And that's when she realized, they_ _ **were**_ _coming right for her._

_She braced herself for impact even as she cranked the wheel hard to the left, in an attempt to avoid the collision at the last second._

_And then: blackness._

Regina woke up, again, in a cold sweat, and sat straight up in bed, gasping for breath as her heart raced and hot tears streamed down her cheeks. She was aware of the small whimpering sounds she was making, as she clutched her head in her hands. It suddenly hurt _so_ much.

"Babe… Regina… what's wrong?"

Regina jumped slightly at the sound of Emma's voice, having momentarily forgotten she wasn't alone in her bed. She turned to face the blonde, quickly wiping the tears from her cheeks as she caught sight of Emma's terrified expression in the dim glow of the streetlights that streamed in through the window.

"I… had a dream… about the crash," Regina managed to tell her, between broken breaths.

"Oh, Regina," Emma said, cocking her head to the side with a sympathetic little pout, and tentatively reaching out to touch Regina's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Regina tried to nod, even though nodding would have been lie and she knew anyone, even without Emma's built-in lie detector, would be able to tell. But she couldn't even bring herself to do that. "No… my head hurts," she admitted, as more tears started to fall.

"Oh, honey," Emma said, holding out her arms to Regina. Regina hesitated for just a moment, but ultimately decided that between the dream - and apparent memory of the crash - and her aching head, she'd rather be comforted by Emma than try to face it all alone, even if the situation still felt a little bit awkward to her.

Regina let herself fall into Emma's arms, who settled back down onto the pillow as Regina rested her head on the blonde's chest. Regina closed her eyes and let out a long sigh, listening to Emma's rhythmic heartbeat as Emma began to stroke her hair.

"Does that feel better?" Emma whispered, after a few moments of running her fingers through Regina's hair.

Regina opened her eyes again, realizing the pain had almost completely subsided, almost instantly. "Actually, yes," she said, confusion evident in her voice.

"You know, I know you don't remember, but you actually like cuddling with me at night," Emma said, with a slightly playful lilt to her voice. "I never would have pegged you for a cuddler. I know you don't remember, but I told you your heart would. Believe me now?"

Regina though for a moment. It had only been this morning that she'd woken up in this brand new life that she had no recollection of, and yet, it felt so oddly familiar, and even comforting. Maybe Emma was right. Maybe her heart did remember what her mind couldn't.

"Who doesn't like to be held?" Regina asked, before realizing that it sounded a little more defensive than she would have liked. "I might come off as cold sometimes, but that's just a defense mechanism."

"I know," Emma said, as she continued to stroke Regina's hair - which, if Regina was being honest, was likely to lull her to sleep again before long. "Trust me, I know you're a softy at heart."

"Don't tease me," Regina said, though she couldn't help but smile, realizing that maybe Emma really _did_ know her, after all.

"I won't. I know you don't like that. Now, you should try to go back to sleep, and I'll keep holding you. If you have another bad dream, I'll be right here."

"Keep stroking my hair like that, and I will fall asleep," Regina said, trying to stifle a yawn.

"I know," Emma said, and though Regina couldn't see her, she could tell she was grinning by the sound of her voice. "I know all your weaknesses."

"And this is my biggest one," Regina acknowledged, as her eyes fell closed again. She was nearly asleep when she heard Emma's voice again.

"Good night, my love," Emma whispered, and Regina felt her heart flutter again.

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

The following morning, Regina woke up, once again, to bright light shining in through her bedroom window. She groaned softly and rolled over, expecting to find Emma there. To her surprise, the other side of the bed was empty. She placed her hand on the pillow that she was sure Emma had slept on last night, and found it cold to the touch.

Yesterday, she'd hoped to wake up and find this all a dream, but now, she could feel herself starting to panic.

Regina quickly reached for the gauze on her forehead, but when she only touched skin, the true realization that none of it was real actually hit her. There was a lump in her throat and she couldn't stop the tears that seemed to fall of their own volition, even as she told herself it was crazy to be getting _this_ upset over the loss of something that hadn't ever been real in the first place. It was just a very vivid dream.

Regina wiped her eyes and forced herself to sit up in bed. She shook her head for being so ridiculous, and gasped when she looked up again. The portrait of herself and Emma and the kids still hung proudly on the wall, and Emma's red jacket was still draped over the back of the chair.

It wasn't a dream, afterall.

Regina pushed the covers off quickly and hurried across the room to look at herself in the bathroom mirror. The gauze was gone, but there was still a prominent - but clearly healing - gash on her forehead. The scrapes on her cheeks were nearly gone and the road rash had faded significantly. She guessed that must have been her magic kicking in to heal her quicker.

Oddly relieved that this was all still real - even if she still had amnesia - Regina headed to her closet to change and set off to find Emma. Sure enough, Emma was still there, sitting on the living room floor, playing with Hailey, and Regina breathed an actual sigh of relief.

Emma heard her and looked up. "Hey."

"Hey. Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Tried," Emma replied, with a shrug. "That Ativan had you out for the count."

"Ativan?" Regina asked, narrowing her eyes in confusion. She didn't remember taking any Ativan. She didn't remember taking a single pill of any sort since she'd woken up yesterday, not even a pain killer.

"Yeah. You took it last night when you couldn't sleep, remember?" Emma asked, as that all-too-familiar look of concern overtook her face again.

"No," Regina replied, shaking her head and not even attempting to conceal the panic on her face.

"Hailey," Emma said suddenly, "why don't you go out and see if Henry needs help washing the Jeep?"

Hailey turned and glanced at Regina with sad eyes and not so much as a 'hello Mommy', before nodding and getting up to head outside.

"What's with her?" Regina asked, confused that the child who couldn't get enough of her yesterday seemed to want nothing to do with her today.

"Do you remember last night at all?" Emma asked, finally standing and looking at Regina in utter confusion.

"Last night? I read her Black Beauty and sang to her just like you told me to. I did everything you said to do," Regina insisted.

"That… wasn't last night," Emma said, shaking her head.

"What? Yes it was. I woke up yesterday with amnesia. We went to see Dr. Whale, and you bathed Hailey but I put her to bed," Regina recounted. She knew she only had one day of memories with this new family and new life, there was no way she was confused on what happened when.

"Regina," Emma said, softly, taking a step forward, "that was over a week ago."

Regina shook her head in disbelief, instinctively reaching for her head. If Emma was right, and over a week had passed, then that would explain the disappearance of the gauze and the rapid healing. "I… I can't remember this week. I only remember that day."

Emma nodded, but she didn't look nearly as calm as she had the first time Regina had admitted she couldn't remember. "It's okay," Emma insisted, though even she didn't sound convinced. "It's going to be fine."

Regina resisted the urge to ask how it could ever possibly be fine, and instead drew her attention to the little girl who would barely look at her. "What happened last night? With Hailey."

Emma bit her lip and looked down. "You, um… she was really pestering you. I usually intervene when I think she's overwhelming you, but I thought you were okay. I guess… I couldn't tell how agitated you were, and you yelled at her. She's so sensitive, and you've never raised your voice to her before."

Regina felt her heart drop to her stomach. "I…" she started, though she had no explanation since she couldn't even remember the incident.

"It's not your fault," Emma insisted. "Dr. Whale said sudden mood swings and irritability are common with head injuries. Hailey just doesn't understand."

"You're right," Regina acknowledged. "She's a little girl who doesn't understand why her Mommy yelled at her. It doesn't matter that I don't remember. I have to fix this."

Emma didn't protest when Regina walked away from her to head outside to find Hailey. And she found her holding a bucket of water and looking confused as Henry explained in detail _exactly_ how to wash the Jeep properly. Regina had to smile and how much of her own attention to detail she had instilled on her son, but Hailey looked utterly unimpressed.

"Hailey," Regina called. She sighed when Hailey didn't turn to look at her and instead chose to pout as she continued to stare at the Jeep in front of her.

"Hailey, Mommy's talking to you," Henry said, gently, but the girl still didn't turn, and Regina was growing concerned.

"Hailey, sweetheart," Regina tried again, this time stepping over to the girl and crouching down in front of her to meet her at eye level. "Can you come talk to Mommy, please? I want to talk about last night."

Despite her continued pouting, Hailey nodded, and set the bucket of water down to accept Regina's outstretched hand. Regina led her around the back of the house to the porch swing where they sat together.

"Hailey, I'm sorry I yelled at you last night," Regina started, and suddenly wished she'd asked for more details from Emma, since she didn't remember the event at all.

Hailey shrugged and stared at her feet. "I was bad."

"Honey, you weren't bad… it's just… you know I hurt my head, right?"

Hailey turned to look at Regina with worried eyes and nodded. "Yeah."

"Well, sometimes it makes me say things I don't mean and it makes me get angry at people when they didn't do anything wrong. And it makes me forget things sometimes. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Regina attempted, not exactly sure how to explain something like this to a child so young.

To her surprise, instead of looking confused, Hailey tilted her head to one side and regarded Regina thoughtfully. "Is that why you get so mad at Momma?"

Again, Regina felt her heart drop into her stomach. "I get mad at Momma?" She repeated, bewildered. Emma hadn't mentioned that, but then again, she'd only spoken to her for a moment that morning.

"Uh huh," Hailey nodded. "She just tries to help and you get so mad and that's not very nice."

Regina bit her lip as the seriousness in her daughter's eyes registered with her. "You're right, Hailey. It's not nice."

"You should say sorry to Momma."

"I will. I promise. But for now, can you forgive me, Little One?" Regina asked, hopefully.

To her relief, Hailey smiled and nodded, and held out her arms to Regina for a hug. Regina didn't waste a second scooping her up onto her lap and holding her tight. She might not remember this little girl, but Hailey remembered her and clearly loved her a lot, and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt her.

Or Emma.

Regina sighed as Hailey snuggled closer, and she ran her fingers through her soft strawberry blonde waves. She couldn't even remember getting angry with Emma, but she still felt incredibly guilty, and knowing Emma's penchant for protectiveness, she knew Emma probably wouldn't even bring it up, knowing what Regina was going through. Regina would have to be the one to broach the subject, as terrifying as it was at the moment.

"Come on, let's go back inside. I need to talk to Momma," Regina suggested, though she didn't give Hailey another option as she hoisted her up on her hip and carried her in through the back door.

Emma was in the kitchen cleaning up from breakfast, and she turned and smiled at the sight of Regina and Hailey together.

"Everything all good now?" She asked, looking between Hailey and Regina.

"Uh huh," Hailey replied with a grin. "But Mommy has to talk to _you_ now."

Emma looked confused as Hailey squirmed loose from Regina's hold and took off into the living room where her toys were still waiting. "You need to talk to me?"

Regina nodded and swallowed hard. "Yes, um… Hailey says I've been getting mad at you, too."

Emma looked away and shrugged, in a way that confirmed it all to Regina without the blonde needing to say a single word.

"Emma, I'm sorry."

Emma met her eyes again and offered a weak smile. "Hey, it's okay. Like I said, not your fault. You don't even remember."

"Even so… I know you're trying to help and I just… I wish…"

"I know. You wish you could remember. Or have a little control. I know it's scary, Regina."

Regina nodded, though she was well aware that Emma really had no idea just how scary it was. How could she? Regina had woken up once and lost five years, and woken up again losing another week and a half. What if she could never form any really lasting memories again?

"I, um," Regina started, looking away feeling shy all of a sudden. "I woke up this morning and you weren't there and I thought… I thought maybe this had all been a dream."

Emma sighed and nodded. "That probably would have made everything easier for you, to wake up in your old life like none of this ever happened."

"You would think that," Regina said, meeting Emma's gaze again. "But I wasn't relieved. I was more… afraid that none of this was real. I might not remember, but… it feels real. Terrifying, but real."

Emma smiled, and after a moment of hesitation, she reached out her arms and wrapped Regina in a tight hug. "It is real. And like I keep saying, we'll get through this, too. I'll call the doctor again this morning about the new memory loss. We'll figure this out, Regina. I promise."

Regina nodded against Emma's shoulder, and for the first time, she actually believed her.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

Once Henry's Jeep was washed, he headed out to meet with his friends, while Emma entertained Hailey in the backyard. Regina promised to join them shortly, but she had a plan in mind first. She headed into her home office and searched through her drawers. Nearly everything was in the same place, and she quickly found what she was looking for: a pen, and a blank notebook.

She sat down at her desk, and after quickly booting up her laptop to confirm the current date, she opened the notebook and began jotting things down. She recounted all that she could remember of the day that she'd first woken up with amnesia, and then drew a line and wrote the current date. Under that, she wrote down in detail everything that had happened thus far this morning. She wasn't sure when she might wake up again forgetting everything that had just happened, but she was determined to keep track so that she would not have to face another morning of surprises.

And for the next several days, it seemed to work. She woke up each morning and grabbed the notebook from her bedside table, quickly checking that her most recent memories lined up with what she'd written down the day before. Day after day, she found that each morning she remembered, but even after two weeks, she wasn't ready to stop recording, just in case.

Over the course of those two weeks, though things were still awkward and strained, she learned the routine of the household. She learned Hailey's favourite foods and toys and movies, and made a separate section in her notebook simply titled "Hailey Marie", where she'd write down every piece of information she learned about the girl.

Henry was out and about with his friends a lot, but made a point to check in with Regina each day and make sure she was handling things okay. She wasn't _entirely_ sure that she was, but each day seemed a little better than the day before.

In two weeks, she'd felt herself get agitated on several occasions, but remembering her conversations with Hailey and Emma, she'd managed to keep her cool and not snap or yell at anyone. Whale insisted it was completely normal with a head injury to react badly to everyday things, but Regina didn't find that information comforting in anyway. She just wanted life to be _normal_ again.

She'd learned that Robin had indeed left Storybrooke with Roland and his daughter. Emma insisted that the name of the baby escaped her, and Regina wasn't sure if that was true or not, though she couldn't imagine why Emma would lie. In any event, she found herself grateful that he'd gone, so she never had to worry about that awkward encounter.

The more time that passed, the more natural living with Emma felt, and the less Regina found she was even thinking about Robin at all. Even though, in her mind, it was like only a couple weeks had passed, it was as though her heart knew the truth. It had been five years and she had moved on.

From time to time, she'd ask Emma about the accident, but it didn't take long for Regina to notice Emma's sudden discomfort and change in demeanor every time she brought it up. Emma was always quick to change the subject, and after a few days, Regina stopped asking who the other driver was. Not knowing was irking her still, but ultimately knowing who it was could wait, she reasoned. She didn't seem to have another option anyway.

It wasn't long, however, before Regina found herself incredibly grateful for keeping the notebook. On a Friday night, the sixteenth night after she'd started keeping track, she was hearing the beeping noise again. She hadn't heard it in two weeks, but tonight, it was so intense she couldn't focus on anything else.

"How can I be the only one hearing this?" Regina lamented out loud, once Hailey was asleep.

"Babe," Emma said gently, a pet name she'd apparently been using for a while before Regina's amnesia, and had started using again now that things seemed to be smoothing out. It was awkward at first, but Regina had found herself growing used to it, and even fond of it. "It's from your head injury, you know that."

Regina shook her head, and immediately regretted it when she felt a sharp pain in her forehead. She reached for her head, and brushed Emma's hand away when Emma attempted to reach out for her. "It sounds like it's coming from someplace else!" Regina insisted.

"I know. But it's not. Regina-"

"I just want to go to bed."

And so she did, taking a dose of Ativan and quickly scribbling the day down in her notebook before sleep overtook her.

And the next morning she woke up, feeling refreshed, headache and beeping gone, fully expecting it to be Saturday.

"Thursday," Regina whispered to herself, when she picked up the notebook from her nightstand. Emma was already out of bed, and she could tell by the brightness of the sun that it was already fairly late in the morning.

She flipped back in her notebook until she found the entry from the previous Friday. Sure enough, there was everything from the last day she remembered, and several pages written in after that, that were completely wiped from her memory.

_Saturday_

* * *

_Today was a better day than yesterday. My headache was gone and we took Hailey to the park all morning. Henry and Grace came along. We took the kids for ice cream, and went for a walk down by the docks. Emma held my hand and it didn't feel out of place._

_The beeping was back in the afternoon, but no headache accompanied it this time, which was a relief. This time, however, I could have sworn I heard voices whispering around me, though I couldn't make out what they were saying. I didn't tell Emma this. I think all of this worries her far more than she's willing to let on._

* * *

_Sunday_

* * *

_Henry goes back to school in Boston tomorrow. Emma swears I knew this, but I don't remember. In any event, we spent the morning helping him pack up, and he spent the afternoon visiting with friends. I'm not quite sure I'm ready for him to go, and to just be here with Emma and Hailey. Despite the fact that he's grown up so much, Henry is still my only constant, and I fear I'll be lost in this new life without him._

* * *

_Monday_

* * *

_Henry took his Jeep back to Boston today. I wish we could have driven him. I'd like to see the place he's living in, though he and Emma both insist I've been there before and approve of it._

_It was a tearful goodbye and it hurt so much to see my son go. Emma says it was harder the first time he went, and I almost wish I could remember that moment. Perhaps that would have made it easier this time around._

_Hailey didn't leave my side all afternoon. I think she must have known I took it hard._

* * *

_Tuesday_

* * *

_The house feels empty without Henry._

_And I'm starting to worry about Emma._

_I know she would insist she was fine if I tried to ask her, but as hard as this is for me, it must be just as hard on her. Up until a few weeks ago she had a life and a partner and now she's lost that, even though I'm right here. I can't imagine how that feels, but…_

_I don't know what to do._

* * *

_Wednesday_

* * *

_I had another dream about the hospital last night. It was the first one in weeks, and it, too, felt more like a memory than a dream. Emma was there, sitting by my side and holding my hand, urging me to fight, telling me that my family needs me and she doesn't know what she'd do without me._

_I wish I could remember… it's so unfair. To both of us._

* * *

Regina reread the last two entries over and over. She didn't remember having these thoughts, but now that it was in her head, she couldn't help but wonder what kind of struggle Emma was going through right now. It reminded her of when Emma had brought Henry back to Storybrooke, and he couldn't remember her. She remember what it felt like to have her son look at her like any other stranger.

This wasn't the same, and yet Regina knew Emma must be struggling just as much. And Regina had to commend the way she held it together, putting on a smile and a brave face and reassuring her that it would all be fine and they'd make it through. Emma was so busy being strong for her, but now with Henry gone, who would be Emma's rock in all of this?

* * *

"Hey, you okay?" Emma asked, the moment Regina stepped into the kitchen that morning.

"Do I seem not okay? Or do you ask me that every morning?" Regina asked, wondering if she was already letting off a different air that morning.

"You don't remember if I ask you that or not?"

Regina shook her head. "I lost more time."

"How much?"

"Five days."

"Oh, Regina, it's-"

"Going to be okay, I know," Regina finished Emma sentence with a nod. "I'm not worried about that. Well, not right now. I'm worried about you."

"Me? Regina, I'm fine. I don't want you to worry about me."

"Are you fine? This really can't be easy for you, Emma. And with Henry gone, there's a lot of pressure falling on your shoulders right now."

Emma shrugged and smiled. "I kinda got used to pressure since coming to Storybrooke, you know? I can handle this. I'm good."

"Emma." Regina took a step closer to her. She might not be able to remember everything that happened, but she _knew_ Emma. And she knew when she was burying something and putting on a brave face. "Talk to me."

Emma looked as though she were about to continue to protest, but Regina didn't miss the tear that escaped from her eye. And she knew Emma knew she saw it. That single display of weakness was all it took.

"I just…" Emma sighed. "I miss you."

This time, it was Regina who held her arms open for Emma, and Emma immediately fell into her embrace, squeezing her tight like she was holding on for dear life.

"I know it doesn't make sense, because you're right here," Emma said softly, into Regina's ear. "But I miss you. I miss our closeness, and holding you. I miss kissing you."

Regina took a deep breath and moved back so she could look at Emma's face. New tears were falling and she could see how much of her struggle Emma had been holding in. "Kiss me, then."

"What?"

Regina nodded. "I mean it. Kiss me."

"But you don't remember… it's not… I don't want to take advantage of you when you're going through all of this."

"You're not. It's just a kiss, Emma. Maybe it will jog a memory?"

Emma smiled, seemingly taking that as a good enough reason to close the small distance between them. Regina gasped as Emma's lips actually met her own, before relaxing and closing her eyes, relishing the feel of Emma's lips against hers.

Emma kissed her hard, with an urgent need, lacing her fingers through Regina's hair. And it felt good, in a way Regina wasn't really expecting. She hadn't expected Emma to be a bad kisser, by any means, but there was something so electric, and it aroused feelings in Regina that she hadn't expected.

She wasn't sure if it was the excitement of experiencing their first kiss all over again, or if the kiss was sparking residual feelings locked someplace inaccessible in Regina's brain, but either way, when she finally broke it off and moved back to look in Emma's eyes again, it was with a whole new appreciation for the woman standing in front of her.

"Did it work?" Emma asked, her hopeful voice barely a whisper.

Regina shook her head. "It didn't jog any memories, but…"

"But?"

"Feelings? Maybe? That was… Emma, I can't remember the last time someone has kissed me like that."

Emma smiled, that sort of self-confident smile that Regina always loved seeing on her. "Well, I am a good kisser. And I know what you like."

"Apparently so," Regina agreed.

Emma smirked, and ran her fingers through Regina's hair. "I love you, you know."

"Do you?" Regina asked, immediately, before shaking her head. "Sorry, I just… why?"

To her surprise, Emma didn't look hurt or confused, she just kept smiling. "Why? Because I fell in love with you, that's why. I know it still probably seems crazy to you, but it's not that crazy, is it? I mean, you can remember up to the October before we got together… that was only a few months before. You had to… have some sort of feelings then?"

Regina bit her lip and slowly nodded, feeling herself blush. Why was she embarrassed to admit it to Emma? After all, in Emma's world, they'd already been together for years, even if she was stuck someplace five years before.

"I know it's a lot," Emma continued. "And I know it's hard with all that time missing, but babe, if we have to start over again from the start, then we will. I want a life with you no matter what. Your heart will remember. Give it time."

Regina nodded. She was becoming more and more confident that maybe Emma was right. Every day felt more familiar and she felt safe here, in spite of everything. Maybe her heart really did know.

"Kiss me again?"

Emma grinned. "Of course. Any time."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this update took so long, but I'm getting back on track with this (and all my fics, as anyone who's following more than one will have noticed!) and I've got this one completely plotted out, so I'm going to get updates out quicker now!
> 
> The truth will start to come out in chapter 8, so I hope everyone is ready!


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